Do less to “be” more

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I recently came across a headline that read “Do Less To Accomplish More.” I almost clicked on it, but then resisted the impulse when I felt my body contract at the concept. Doing less is already a challenge for most of us, why would we want to do less to accomplish more? 

We live in a culture that glorifies being busy. People sport tired eyes like badges of honour. “I just don’t need that much sleep,” or “I’ll sleep when I’m dead,” are things I’ve often heard people say to excuse their busy-ness.

I don’t blame them, though - white supremacist, patriarchal and capitalist systems have conditioned us to operate from a place of scarcity, having us believe that our worth is directly tied into our productivity. Slowing down scares us because we’ve been led to believe we will become irrelevant. But at what cost? What is the price we’re paying when we are constantly overriding our systems? 

Being in a constant state of “doing” means we’re distracted from our bodies’ natural rhythms. We aren’t able to hear the signals it’s sending us, and we don’t have the time or the energy to care for ourselves. Capitalism then markets self-care and convenience as solutions to aspire to. So we work harder to earn more to be able to afford to care for ourselves. And on and on it goes. 

Award winning serial-social entrepreneur and wellness advocate, Nicole Cardoza wrote, “I vow to sleep more hours than I work.” My mind was blown when I read that - it is something that is both so simple and so difficult to achieve. Since reading that, it has really stuck with me. One way I try to do the same is by savouring the spaces in my schedule that I already have. My experience? It’s so hard! It is so tempting to fill that space with an attempt to accomplish a to-do item or something I falsely believe I “should” be doing. I dream of doing less and yet when given the chance, it is not that easy. 

One of my favourite Instagram accounts, The Nap Ministry, wrote: “We are bound up in so many ways because we have accepted ‘exhausted’ as normal.” They go on to write, “you don’t have to keep trying so hard. You are enough now without any extra labour. You are divine. You can rest.” Yet another reminder of why I want - and need - to do less.

Of course, learning the importance of doing less doesn’t make it happen on its own. As the days get shorter, longer nights offer us an opportunity to turn our attention inwards. Slowing down also means turning away from distractions which pull our awareness away from what our bodies may be telling us.

Although a “work in progress,” these are some of my tried and tested ways of doing less:

  • As mentioned above, savouring the free time in my schedule instead of trying to accomplish one more to-do item

  • Ask myself “Is it true?” when I hear an inner voice tell me I “should” be doing something

  • Interact with your tech (computers, phones, TV) at certain predetermined times (e.g. 8 AM - 12 PM, 2 PM - 9 PM) and check in with intention whenever you want to revert to your screen outside of those windows (I write more about that here)

  • Do more off screen and on paper: revert to analog to decrease your dependency on distracting habits and to reinspire creativity

  • Single task: multi-tasking once was popular but now results in feelings of exhaustion and tasks not well executed. Take the power back by doing one thing at a time!

  • STOP as often as possible: stop, take a breath, observe, proceed

I also like to take the time between Christmas and New Year’s to deeply reflect on the following:

  • What are my core values?

  • What is most important in my life?

  • Do I spend my time in a way that centers and demonstrates those values?

Imagine filling a jar with rocks of different sizes – if you put the smallest rocks in first, there won’t be any space left for the larger ones. If you put the large rocks in first, the smaller ones will fill the spaces in between and everything will fit. In more direct terms, your most valued items are the large rocks, consider prioritizing and filling the gaps with the rest. You’ll be surprised how much better it all fits. The more time you make for yourself – even if it’s just a few minutes a day – the more comfortable you’ll get prioritizing your self-care. Once you learn to prioritize your big rock items, you’ll find that fitting it all in feels far less stressful.

In the end, that headline should have read, “Do less to be more” because when we are on our deathbeds, empty inboxes and to-do lists won’t be the things we think back on fondly. 

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Turning inwards