As I write this, I’m nearing the end of an impromptu six-week vacation. Impromptu because I was supposed to work abroad for two months. When those plans fell through three days before my departure, I found myself without an apartment nor a job for the summer, but in possession of a ticket to Greece. In an attempt to make lemonade out of lemons, I decided to take the time solely for myself.
Around the same time I learned that I could jump from Adho Mukha Svanasana (Downward Dog) to Bhaksana (Crow). Although it came somewhat as a surprise, I was trying to accomplish this for months by strengthening my center with jumping or “floating” exercises. As I felt my core getting stronger, I found myself feeling less and less afraid of attempting this jump, as well as many other poses. When I began practicing this sequence, I didn’t do so on the hardwood floors of most studios, but rather on the soft grass of Parc Jeanne-Mance (and then after the sandy beaches of Paros, Greece). I didn’t expect to succeed at it right away. On the contrary, I actually expected to fall many times beforehand. But to my surprise, the more I fell the less scared I became.
For those of you who read my last blog entry know that at the time of my departure I felt like I was lost in distractions. Although I didn’t know it, this trip couldn’t have come at a better, yet more confusing, time – a time when I was so afraid of loneliness yet desperately yearning for solitude. This trip is metaphorically equivalent to the process I undertook to jump from Adho Mukha Svanasana to Bakasana.
The time away allowed me to center myself after months of spending my attention and energy outwards. As I was searching for solitude, while unconsciously resisting the anticipation of loneliness, I finally understood why I wasn’t getting it despite wanting it so much. The difference, in my opinion, is in the perception of these two concepts. To put it simply, based on my experience, loneliness is being uncomfortable with being alone while solitude is being alone and embracing it. But as I found out, there is a close enemy to solitude: being closed. When I first arrived in Read the rest of this post»
