I had a thought the other day – I am officially a cryer. I have the urge to cry (and often times I actually do) for sad things, happy things, things that happen in my life, my friends’ life, or just in the world. For those who have met me in the past couple years, this may not seem like a surprise, but for those from way back when know that I would go long periods without crying, perhaps even years. At that point in time, I used to pride myself of the fact, but now being more open, and hence, a cryer, I realize that it was not something to be proud of. Not in any judgmental way, but rather because I realized that all that time, I was numb to the experiences of my life.
I can thank several factors for this, but namely my deepened Yoga and Meditation practice (and of course, my mentor’s obsession with intense backbends). As anyone who has embarked on this path can attest, it is a long and difficult process, but well worth it (and even that is a huge understatement). As Jack Kornfield says in his book A Path with Heart, “It is the place of feeling that binds or frees us.” He goes on to say that feelings control most of our inner life, yet we are unconscious of them. As a result, we have adapted a style of contraction and suppression in regards to our feelings. Unfortunately, “showing emotions” is not seemly for a man, and only certain emotions are allowed for women.
