I can thank several factors for this, but namely my deepened Yoga and Meditation practice (and of course, my mentor’s obsession with intense backbends). As anyone who has embarked on this path can attest, it is a long and difficult process, but well worth it (and even that is a huge understatement). As Jack Kornfield says in his book A Path with Heart, “It is the place of feeling that binds or frees us.” He goes on to say that feelings control most of our inner life, yet we are unconscious of them. As a result, we have adapted a style of contraction and suppression in regards to our feelings. Unfortunately, “showing emotions” is not seemly for a man, and only certain emotions are allowed for women.

Some people might actually prefer not being in touch with their feelings, especially the negative ones. But as any Mind-Body worker can tell you, feelings get retained as memory – not just in the brain but all the way down to the cellular level. Repressed trauma caused by overwhelming emotion can be stored in a body part, affecting our ability to feel that part, or in more serious cases, even move it.

One important point often brushed off as untrue is that all honest emotions, regardless if they are perceived as positive or negative by societal standards, are positive emotions. We need anger to define boundaries, grief to deal with our losses, and fear to protect ourselves from danger. As leading Pharmacologist and researcher Candace Pert says in her book Molecules of Emotion, it’s only when these feelings are denied, not easily nor rapidly processed through the system and released, that the situation becomes toxic.

Toxic – This opens a whole can of worms, ranging from the six levels of disease in Ayurveda to Caroline Myss’ study in the field of energy medicine that shows how every illness corresponds to a pattern of emotional and psychological stresses, amongst other things. No matter how you look at it (at least from the Mind-Body perspective), holding in emotions is a no go.

‘What can we do?’ you ask, now knowing what you know? Well, the not-so-easy step would be to let the feelings pass through you. As my good friend says, “If you resist, it’ll persist. Let it go, it’ll flow.” Or better yet, we can do what American political journalist, author, professor and world peace advocate Norman Cousins suggests – laugh. According to him, laughter is like jogging for your insides, an exercise that keeps us in emotional shape.

With that being said, I leave you with one precious gift – a YouTube video on Laughing Yoga.

(Writer’s note: By “open”, I don’t mean “Open for Business”, so please, no “nudge nudge wink wink”s.)

Some of you may be saying to yourself, “What a way to start the month of love – talking about losing it!” This post is, by no means, meant to put a damper on the sea of red presently in pharmacies, department stores, book stores, and Hallmark shops that you may adore. Really, I feel like it’s appropriate… Yes, some may consider February to be the month of love, so what better time to open yourself to the love around you?

After my break up, I felt so fragile, so raw, and as a result, more sensitive. My suffering kept me in the present moment like no other experience (other than meditation). From experience, I knew staying stuck in the past wouldn’t be helpful, nor hanging on to future false hopes, and of course, creating stories or replaying past experiences are also really not productive, so I almost welcomed how my pain kept me in the moment. Walking, holding this pain, letting it flow through me, forced me to slow down, and as a result, I became a tourist in my own city. In a beautifully painful way, I saw the sun in a new way, felt the cold air on my skin in a new way as I walked for hours outside (something I almost never do, unless it’s at least 25 above), and had become more sensitive to other people’s stories and situations.

Although I teach from where I am in my life and practice at that moment, I don’t often share intimate details about my life in class. I teach using general dharma terms. Never (or not in a while, anyway), had I received so much positive feedback, how students felt I was speaking to them specifically, and how it was helpful for exactly what they were living in that moment. This made me realize that love and suffering are universal concepts that everyone experiences. Everyone has felt love (or longs for it) and everyone has suffered (or is suffering).

One thing I feel is worthy to note is that love and suffering are relative. Whether you’re 6 years old, 30 years old, or 60 years old, it is still suffering, and can still be traumatic, regardless of your age. And as much as these universal concepts of love and suffering unite us, no-one really truly knows the dynamic of your relationship. Given that, I had friends ask me, “How can you not be angry?” Although I must agree that it is often easier to fixate on the negative and be angry, I was grateful that I wasn’t. I spent this past weekend on a silent meditation retreat and Matt Flickstein used a beautiful image of bungee jumping – even if we go into deep states of meditation (jumping off the high ledge), resentment and anger can pull us back to exactly where we began (the boing of the bungee cord). I’d rather take the 5 years of meditation and almost 100 nights in silent retreat that I’ve so far invested and put them to good use!

Staying with the discomfort of painful feelings, in my opinion, takes courage. Most people tend to push their suffering away because they feel it is or will be overwhelming. Although I’m right in the thick of it and I can’t say for sure, I do know that opening to the suffering is a lot less scary than I expected. We tend to take relationships, especially sexual and romantic relationships, very personal but as soon as you realize that you “simply” (another relative term) got caught in your partner’s suffering, you can be freed. Oddly enough, I find comfort in the “It’s not you, it’s me” phrase.

Also noteworthy is that being vulnerable is not a negative in any way, rather, it is a courageous act. I can only guess based on how I feel now that once you survive an extremely vulnerable experience, it becomes empowering. As one of my very good and supportive friends told me, “Sadness reminds us of our capacity to feel, and every feeling we have serves a purpose.”

Looking for a refreshing perspective on Yoga? Come check out senior teachers Angela Farmer and Victor Kooten before they head home to Greece! In this English workshop at Studios Lyne St. Roch Feb. 20-21, 2010 The Path to Inner Awareness will be explored.

Juicy!

Visit http://lynestroch.com/fr/ateliers/2010/02/20-21.php for more info!

With each New Year usually comes New Year’s Resolutions – a noteworthy concept but so rarely do they become a permanent change in our lives, which can lead to feelings of anger or disappointment. Why not try something new and different this year (or decade, for that matter!)? Resolve to Evolve – and trade in your goals for an intention.

Resolutions are great because they help provide us with a direction, but unfortunately, they’re a future objective. By definition, the very word “future” shows how they are not grounded in the present moment. With that being said, what happens if your resolution doesn’t pan out? Disappointment, confusion, or anger usually set in and without the proper tools, we are left with nothing to regain our mental footing.

This is where intentions come in. They are the underlying layer beneath our resolutions and they help us to reorient ourselves if our mind is confused with strong emotion. They also provide us with integrity and unity, and help us to be less reactive to the continuous fluctuations of life. Unlike goals, intentions are not future oriented, they are anchored in any present moment (key word being “any”, hence the itlaics and bold).

In practice, the same posture, the same sequence, the same meditation done with a different intention takes on an entirely new meaning and will have entirely different outcomes. Without a larger purpose we may be just stretching our hamstrings. But depending on our intention, we can be cultivating patience, compassion – anything we want.

What are intentions, you ask? They are phrases that are private and personal, and begin with the words, “May I…”. A common question I get is “Why ‘May I…’?” It’s not that we’re asking anyone permission to be a certain way, we are simply inviting our true nature to present itself. As with any invitation, we ask politely, as opposed to demanding its presence. Our intention does not need to be grandiose, but it does need to be sincere because it sets the stage for all that will follow.

We might have some guiding intention in our practice for months, if not years. or our intention may change from week to week.
Ironically, by being in touch with and acting from our true intentions, we become more effective in reaching our goals than when we act from wants and insecurities.

Remember! This practice is called a practice because it is an ever-renewing process. As with any spiritual discipline, the essence of intentions is our willingness to start over, and over, and over (and over) again. Every day of the year (even every moment) should be a day of resolution to live the life we want, not just on January 1st.

A few tricks I’ve tried in the past to help me integrate the practice of Intentions into daily life:
- Set a timer several times a day and when it goes off, repeat your intention (or simply set your watch to “beep” every hour)
- Stick Post-It notes in key places to remind you to repeat your intention (e.g. on your bathroom mirror, on the telephone, on the wall next to the front door)
- Ask yourself “What is my intention?” before speaking, especially when emotionally charged (from personal experience, this has saved me from many potential conflicts!)

–
Inspirations:
The Energy of Money: A Spiritual Guide to Financial and Personal Fulfillment by Maria Nemeth Ph.D.
The Heart’s Intentions by Phillip Moffit
Bringing Yoga to Life: The Everyday Practice of Enlightened Living by Donna Farhi

“If all the insects were to disappear from the earth, within 50 years all life on earth would end. If all human beings disappeared from the earth, within 50 years all forms of life would flourish.”

- Jonas Salk, American medical researcher

There are also 5 Niyamas in this second limb of the Eightfold Path and they are:

1. Saucha

Often translated as cleanliness, saucha can also be interpreted as keeping different energies distinct as a way to keep the sanctity of the energy around us in tact. What this means in plain ol’ English is to put away your mats or accessories in a tidy way (a cluttered or messy room just makes for a cluttered or messy mind) or don’t step on another person’s mat.

When I first learned about the practical applications of saucha, I felt that it was a secret ploy by studio owners to get students to respect their accessories and to put them away neatly so that they wouldn’t have to. But the more I reflected on it, the more I realized that the way we treat our mat, the mats of others, and the accessories of others, directly reflects how we treat others (or others’ belongings) in the world. Consciously practicing saucha allowed me to be more aware of my surroundings and respect others’ resources, whether it be their time, belongings, or their needs.

2. Santosha

Translated as contentment, santosha is a simple teaching that is, of course, difficult to achieve. It asks us to be content with what we have already attained and to let go of the idea that we, in life and in practice, should be somewhere else other than where we are. As we live in a world that constantly tells us our lives are incomplete until we get the latest gadget or follow the most recent trend, it also becomes increasingly difficult to conjure up contentment on the mat.

Sarah Powers once told a group of us in a workshop that we often refer to one side of our bodies as bad and the other as good. But she encouraged us to stop labeling them as such and to try to look at one side as simply the side that needs more attention. Her justification was, “If you had two children, would you love one less? Would you label one of them the ‘good child’ and the other ‘the bad child’?”

That is something that has stayed with me. It has also allowed me to be more gentle and loving with the parts of my body that need more attention, as opposed to unhappily trying to force them to open. Shifting my way of thinking has even invited more love and contentment into my practice, regardless of where I am.

3. Tapas

Another goody, tapas is most known to mean heat, but more specifically it means perseverance. Often in my classes I say, “If you’re a perfectionist, pull back a little. If you’re far from being a perfectionist, try a little harder.” When I say “Try a little harder” I really mean bring in more tapas into your practice. In Buddhist practice, this is often related to Wise Effort.

Practicing tapas can be a slippery slope, however. As with all things, there needs to be a balance with tapas and santosha. During another workshop, Tias Little told us that for 15 years he desperately tried to achieve the cessation of the mind that defines Yoga (Yogah Chitta Vritti Norodhah) by ardently practicing to a point where it was near obsession. Tias called that “Stupid Tapas”.

Unfortunately, I haven’t quite figured this one out yet. What I am experimenting with is to simply do what you don’t feel like doing (to a certain degree). If you’re practicing and feeling a bit lazy, bring in some tapas. If you’re overexerting yourself in poses, bring in santosha.

4. Svadhyaya

With sva meaning self and adhyaya meaning education, the fourth Niyama is seens as the study of oneself, or careful self-observation. To me, this is a fundamental essence of Yoga. Not only does it prevent physical injury and encourage a supportive sangha (community) by asking us to not compete with our neighbors, it also nurtures self-knowledge.

We live in a society that distracts us so much from looking inwards, and these customs are now creeping into Yoga studios. With mirrors showing us from the outside-in what being in alignment feels like, we rarely feel what we feel from the inside-out.

In poses, scan your entire body, without just fixating on what is most obvious (usually we only feel the most tight or the most intense part of a pose). Watch your mental dialogue and how your body or mind wants to react. See what you can learn about yourself from this observation. After a pose, be still, feel the changes. A lot of times it is in the stillness between the poses that we can learn the most.

5. Ishvara Pranidhana

Most texts translate the last Niyama as surrender to God. For the first few years of my practice, I ignored this one because of the word “God”. But as my own personal practice deepened, there was a growing sense of a higher something. God is not a word I would use; I don’t even know what word I would use but whatever I choose, and whatever you choose, I interpert this Niyama to be surrendering to him//her/that.

By acknowledging a higher being, we can come to terms with the fact that the fruits (or results) of our practice don’t really matter at the end of the day, but rather, our intention and effort are what matters. This can be a relief for those who are especially fixated on results, achievements, and “getting there”. It can also help us step out of our bubble that labels “me, my, mine” and invite us to see the bigger picture of our practice.

One way I adore working with this Niyama is by dedicating my practice to someone else, or a group of people or beings before I start my practice. I got this idea from Seane Corn, who takes it one step further and before her daily practices, she watches the news to see where there is suffering in the world and she dedicates it there or to them. Doing this brings an uplifting energy and a fruitful motivation to the mat.

These practices are easy in theory but not always as easy when trying to apply it as a lifestyle. But once we do, the benefits outweigh the efforts. As Seane Corn’s program Off the Mat, Into the World asks us, I now transfer the question back to you – Why stretch when you can reach?

Since parigraha is Sanskrit for hoarding, aparigraha, is the antithesis of that – the abstention of hoarding. John Philp defines it as the abstention from possessiveness, greed, selfishness, and acquisitiveness. Examples of aparigraha are: eating food that has been acquired justly and consuming only what’s essential for healthy survival (i.e. eat organic and don’t overeat), getting fewer clothes without regard to the whims of fashion or going without a car and walking to work. Aparigraha can also extend to more subtle energies such as restraining one’s hunger for power, status, and bliss. This concept is present in many philosophies or religions (in Buddhism it’s known as non-attachment) because possessions are seen as an obstacle to liberation. In simple terms, how many times did the t.v., telephone, computer, cell phone, or books (yes, even spiritual ones) get in the way of your Yoga or meditation practice?

In 2005 I went backpacking in Southeast Asia for four months. For the entire time, I survived with two outfits (one which I wore), one bathing suit and one pair of flip flops (which I also wore). That may be an exaggeration for some, but all in all, that trip taught me how little I really needed to survive. Since I was budget traveling, I stayed in many unpleasant places (slept on pillows that smelled like someone else’s hair) and went hungry and thirsty many times (broken down bus in the middle of the night in Cambodia during an 18-hour bus ride). All my experiences helped me realize that at the end of it all, our basic needs are truly clothing, shelter, and food.

You must be thinking, “Well, duh!” but if you take an honest look at yourself and at others (of course, in a non-judging way), you’ll soon see that we tend to go overboard. Time and time again I’ll overhear someone say “I really need a pair of jeans because the only pair of jeans I have are no longer in style.” Maybe you don’t know anyone like that, but substitute jeans for anything else (Yoga mat/phone/computer/jacket/shoes). Nonetheless, do we ever really need anything more?

In A Path with Heart written by the ever-inspiring Jack Kornfield, he says:

But when people come to the end of their life and look back, the questions that they most often ask are not usually, “How much is in my bank account?” or “How many books did I write?” or “What did I build?” (…) You find the questions such a person asks are very simple: “Did I love well?” “Did I live fully?” “Did I learn to let go?”

If that’s all that matters at the end of our lives, why do we squander, over an entire lifetime, millions of dollars on impermanent, material, superficial things that we won’t care about at the time of death?

On Saturday, September 26 of this year, Typhoon Ketsana brought the equivalent of one month’s rain in just 12 hours in the Philippine capital of Manila. The homes of nearly 1.9 million people had been flooded and at last count, there have been almost 300 deaths. I am of Philippine origin so when I got news from my mother that our family there was ok, she told me that both families on my her side lost everything. They lived very modestly as it was, but the little they did have was gone. During the storm, my aunt and cousin, holding the family dogs, were forced to climb up to the roof of their home as the water levels were quickly rising. After the storm, my cousin had roamed the streets for days, crying, looking for food to eat, a place to stay, and clean clothes.

So whether you are young or old, life is precious, and most of all, impermanent. Let’s spend the time we do have together loving well, living fully and letting go.

After about a month of exploring the Yamas together, we’ve come to brahmacharya, the fourth of the fifth Yamas, and possibly the most controversial. According to John Philp, the root word is brahma, Sanskrit for “deity”; char means “walk” and ya means “actively”. Hence, the literal translation is “walking with God”. In layman terms, it means self-control or abstention from sensual indulgence which can include everything from over-eating to hoarding.

The reason why it is considered controversial is because brahmacharya is almost always translated to mean celibacy. I do not know why such a broad term has been coined in such a narrow manner. I actually find it strikingly ironic that we pigeon-holed brahmacharya to mean celibacy in a time where sex is more and more present in advertising and entertainment and even Yoga (The Love Guru, anyone?).

Yes, broken boundaries of Gurus sleeping with students while preaching the importance of celibacy. This “allegedly” happens. But unfortunately, I will not talk about any of those alleged incidents here (I’ll leave it up to the curious to research on your own) because I am trying to integrate ahimsa and satya as much and as best I can, and talking about what Gurus (might) have done in the past is neither along the lines of the first two Yamas. “If I’m not going to talk about it then why bother bringing it up?” you ask? Because I think it’s important to know that too much of a “good” thing can be bad, and that at the end of the day, Yoga is about balance.

For example, Richad Faulds from the Kripalu board of trustees told Yoga Journal, “Brahmacharya was over-emphasized, and to the extent that we enforced it as a lifestyle, we created dysfunction.”

As a result, I (very) loosely interpret brahmacharya to simply mean not over-doing things. For those who know me well, you know that I am extreme in many ways, giving things 150% or nothing, and this is not an easy Yama for me. I felt the need to mention that so you don’t interpret this Yama or this blog post as a finger wagging at you, but rather as a reminder that we all struggle and we all need to be reminded to use our energy wisely.

Being an extremist can mean different things to different people: working out incessantly, over-eating, over-shopping, spending too much time on the Internet, constantly cutting people off while they’re talking, hoarding, even reading too many Yoga and/or meditation books, and the list can go on and on. What I try to do when working with this Yama is to pick one thing that I do excessively (start off small so you don’t shock your system) and then practicing not doing it. A lot of times, at least for me, I am avoiding something when I act out my over-excessiveness. Instead, I try to be with whatever rises (usually anxiety at the beginning) and see what acting or not acting out this habit can reveal to me. Often times, I am surprised. By simply being aware of the emotion or memory you are avoiding, it gets easier not acting out. But like a diet, it is a lifestyle, not a one-time exercise. Constant practice and awareness is usually needed to keep habits of over excess in check.

As I like to do, I am going to leave you with a quote from T. Guillemets: “If I’m losing balance in a pose, I stretch higher and God reaches down to steady me. It works every time, and not just in yoga.”